Frog Dreams
Last night I dreamt of a frog.
He hatched out of something, but it wasn't an egg. Maybe it was though, but by the time I say him he was puffing into his green speckled body, like a blow up doll. He was the size of a human head, or bigger. I approached the frog and he sprang away, I jumped after him. We sprang up simultaneously, but he always seemed to maintain a faster and higher jump. We floated in the air. The sky and its zephyrs became one, and so did we. I was talking, trying to say something, maybe I was asking him to slow down. But he continued to jump, and I quieted myself, and continued too. I looked up and saw his flat, white tummy lingering above me and then I closed my eyes. And then I was beside him, a flute sound resonated from his body and into mine. The beautiful sound of a flute floated from him. I opened my eyes, but just glanced at him sideways. The song was so beautiful, so powerful I couldn't look at him. I floated higher and higher and so did the notes of his song. When I thought we couldn't go any higher (body and song), we did. The highest pitch of the flute sounds reverberated in the air and wrapped around my head. I saw a spiraling light and felt my body become lighter and lighter. My mind lingered on the musical sound and I experienced ecstasy.
I awoke and still heard the frog's flute in some far off place in my head. I started to think of all the myths of frogs and its meaning in dreams. Fertility? Uh oh, but no that isn't possible because I am not..whew...maybe it was telling me of challenging times? There is a Native American belief about frog dreams and says that a person will have rain (because the frog is the water giver) through a life of drought...maybe. But still, the frog was giving me a song. Frogs also may represent hidden emotions, thoughts, or even creative aspects of which we may not be aware. That could be...I sing, something that I keep hidden from others most of the time. I grew up in a very musical family, but...Oh, Frogs in dreams, may symbolize change and rebirth. The transformation may be a transformation of outer life or the change of the inner self, or the psyche. Maybe this is it...
Last night, I fell asleep on a full stomach and mind. The Buddha boy was the last thing I thought about before I drifted into my world of dreams. I had been talking and thinking about him all day. I couldn't believe that he might still be sitting under a tree, and meditating. The closest to meditating I ever did was pray. I close my eyes and focus on nothing but a greater spirit and greater purpose for myself. But he sat under a tree for seven months with no food, and just meditated. No food for seven months? I have fasted for an entire month, abstaining from food and water during daylight hours, as soon as the sun said good night I feasted upon dates, curried meats, baklava, and spicy rices. The reason Muslims fast is to seek a higher purpose beyond our human nature. Human crave and desire things that we need food, water, sleep, sex? And we also make ourselves believe we need cigarettes, gossip, cursing, meanness, and enemies. But during the holy month of Ramadan we forget all our needs and wants, and focus on those who don't have anything. We make extra prayers and focus on purifying our sometimes, carnal minds. But the Buddha does this for seven months and may still be doing it. With his eyes closed, he sits in the lotus pose, with his hands resting on his knees. He doesn't even seem alive as his chest does not rise or fall with breath. I still watch videos in disbelief as he sits in fire, motionless.
But last night, as I was I falling asleep, an image of the Buddha boy flashed in my mind. I remember that people stood out side for hours just to have him touch there heads, or to ask him a question. What would you ask him if you were standing in the line? I asked myself. I don't know...maybe I would ask him what I should do or what he would do if he were me...nah that's lame...
I grew up believing that dreams give us warnings of something to come or answers for lingering questions in our soul, and whether or not this dream is associated with the Buddha boy in some cosmic way, maybe it is the answer to a query hidden within.
He hatched out of something, but it wasn't an egg. Maybe it was though, but by the time I say him he was puffing into his green speckled body, like a blow up doll. He was the size of a human head, or bigger. I approached the frog and he sprang away, I jumped after him. We sprang up simultaneously, but he always seemed to maintain a faster and higher jump. We floated in the air. The sky and its zephyrs became one, and so did we. I was talking, trying to say something, maybe I was asking him to slow down. But he continued to jump, and I quieted myself, and continued too. I looked up and saw his flat, white tummy lingering above me and then I closed my eyes. And then I was beside him, a flute sound resonated from his body and into mine. The beautiful sound of a flute floated from him. I opened my eyes, but just glanced at him sideways. The song was so beautiful, so powerful I couldn't look at him. I floated higher and higher and so did the notes of his song. When I thought we couldn't go any higher (body and song), we did. The highest pitch of the flute sounds reverberated in the air and wrapped around my head. I saw a spiraling light and felt my body become lighter and lighter. My mind lingered on the musical sound and I experienced ecstasy.
I awoke and still heard the frog's flute in some far off place in my head. I started to think of all the myths of frogs and its meaning in dreams. Fertility? Uh oh, but no that isn't possible because I am not..whew...maybe it was telling me of challenging times? There is a Native American belief about frog dreams and says that a person will have rain (because the frog is the water giver) through a life of drought...maybe. But still, the frog was giving me a song. Frogs also may represent hidden emotions, thoughts, or even creative aspects of which we may not be aware. That could be...I sing, something that I keep hidden from others most of the time. I grew up in a very musical family, but...Oh, Frogs in dreams, may symbolize change and rebirth. The transformation may be a transformation of outer life or the change of the inner self, or the psyche. Maybe this is it...
Last night, I fell asleep on a full stomach and mind. The Buddha boy was the last thing I thought about before I drifted into my world of dreams. I had been talking and thinking about him all day. I couldn't believe that he might still be sitting under a tree, and meditating. The closest to meditating I ever did was pray. I close my eyes and focus on nothing but a greater spirit and greater purpose for myself. But he sat under a tree for seven months with no food, and just meditated. No food for seven months? I have fasted for an entire month, abstaining from food and water during daylight hours, as soon as the sun said good night I feasted upon dates, curried meats, baklava, and spicy rices. The reason Muslims fast is to seek a higher purpose beyond our human nature. Human crave and desire things that we need food, water, sleep, sex? And we also make ourselves believe we need cigarettes, gossip, cursing, meanness, and enemies. But during the holy month of Ramadan we forget all our needs and wants, and focus on those who don't have anything. We make extra prayers and focus on purifying our sometimes, carnal minds. But the Buddha does this for seven months and may still be doing it. With his eyes closed, he sits in the lotus pose, with his hands resting on his knees. He doesn't even seem alive as his chest does not rise or fall with breath. I still watch videos in disbelief as he sits in fire, motionless.
But last night, as I was I falling asleep, an image of the Buddha boy flashed in my mind. I remember that people stood out side for hours just to have him touch there heads, or to ask him a question. What would you ask him if you were standing in the line? I asked myself. I don't know...maybe I would ask him what I should do or what he would do if he were me...nah that's lame...
I grew up believing that dreams give us warnings of something to come or answers for lingering questions in our soul, and whether or not this dream is associated with the Buddha boy in some cosmic way, maybe it is the answer to a query hidden within.
i like how you've tied dreams and religious beliefs/rituals into the piece. (and, of course i had to find more information on the Buddha boy). There is an apparent conflict within you that has not yet been made clear (to the reader, at least) ... lingering questions, a query within. i just wonder, does it have to be hidden?
ReplyDeleteI love how rich this piece is, Maryam. Without getting too detailed or deep, you touch on such interesting aspects of human life, particularly for your culture. I love reading about why and how you pray, what symbols mean for you, and most importantly the effect all of these things have on the way you think, act, feel and ultimately who you are.
ReplyDeleteDo you think you are trying to connect the frog to the Buddha boy because a part of you feels like you should be doing more? Do you want to do something as incredible as Buddha boy? It feels like you are searching for your own greater purpose....fascinating. I think we should all be more in tune with our bodies, minds and souls.
I love how you raise these questions and explore them but don't provide concrete answers. I think there is more to learn from the asking and exploring, and I felt like I was learning with you. Well done.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part: "And we also make ourselves believe we need cigarettes, gossip, cursing, meanness, and enemies." I had never thought about that, but it is so profound. I think these things would be harder for some people to give up than food and water. Thank you for sharing.
Again, has the layered feeling, in parts, of a prose poem. I think that at heart you are a poet, Maryam. Have you taken any poetry workshops? I would strongly suggest you consider taking one before you leave if you can fit it into your schedule.
ReplyDelete