Writing is like dancing, but I can't find my rhythm!
I am having trouble writing in my voice. By this I mean that it is hard for me to write and not be tense and be constantly hesitant about my word choice. My work seems choppy, confusing, and lacking in so many areas (I honestly recognize this and really believe it, am I too hard on myself for thinking this?)
When I am assigned to write a piece a switch flicks on and I censor EVERYTHING. Honestly, I feel that I write in a more relaxed state on this blog than I do when I am writing a piece for class. Sometimes I get moments of inspiration, but for workshop my writing voice changes drastically.
I am trying to work this out. But I think this may be because I know someone is going to read my work and critique me. I try to write and convince myself that I won't care what people think or say about it (or about me), but I do. And so the piece changes because I am thinking of ways to please the reader or to make them understand what I think they want to understand and know. I can't find my rhythm in front of my readers, but if I am alone, then I can write freely. Does anyone else do this? And if so, how do you deal with it?
When I am assigned to write a piece a switch flicks on and I censor EVERYTHING. Honestly, I feel that I write in a more relaxed state on this blog than I do when I am writing a piece for class. Sometimes I get moments of inspiration, but for workshop my writing voice changes drastically.
I am trying to work this out. But I think this may be because I know someone is going to read my work and critique me. I try to write and convince myself that I won't care what people think or say about it (or about me), but I do. And so the piece changes because I am thinking of ways to please the reader or to make them understand what I think they want to understand and know. I can't find my rhythm in front of my readers, but if I am alone, then I can write freely. Does anyone else do this? And if so, how do you deal with it?
Maryam- I have to agree that ever since we started work-shopping, I feel that same sense of influence like, what do they want to read? how are they are going to take it? and feel it sometimes takes away from my words. I think that is natural and a hard thing to conquer, but I try to sit down and pretend I am just writing to write..no workshop, no peers, no teacher. Just me wanting to put this down in my "journal of writing." I also try to take workshop as opinion rather than fact. Everyone is "helping" me to become a better writer, but they are not writing for me, or changing what I want to get out. Does that make sense? Like Sheryl says "own your writing" and stay confident to the end of the piece. I think time will help too...
ReplyDeleteP.S. Writing IS like dancing...so ROCK OUT!
ReplyDeleteI agree. It would be great if we could always write with abandon -- wild and free --
ReplyDeleteMaybe we can at least try to do that at first, before we let the hum of anticipated critique fill our heads.
And then we can use the anticipated critique (which could include useful and wise ideas) for the early revision process.
i know for me, i am learning i have some bad habits, and i'll probably continue to include them in my 1st drafts, but then, when i can hardly resist summarizing and pointing out the lesson of the piece, for example, i'll think of Amy's wise comment last night: "reflection doesn't necessarily mean summary" and drop (or adjust) my last paragraph before workshopping it.
Janice
Maryam, I agree I hear more of your voice in these blogs--the one you posted after this, for example. If you can take that voice and work to make the language a little more precise, you've got something. It's important to get the narrative arc, the flow, right first--that will help with the jumpiness. Maybe start your pieces for class as blogs--that forces you to be a little bit more informal.
ReplyDelete